


assorted puzzle pieces

by catboymika



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Ensemble Stars - Freeform, a gift, enstars - Freeform, i guess, wataru hibiki - Freeform, you wanted this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboymika/pseuds/catboymika
Summary: i couldnt provide you the angsty wedding fic yet, but i can provide you will a half assed wataru breakdown so :) you did this to yourself. you brought this upon yourself. you told me to do it and now this abomination exists.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	assorted puzzle pieces

The name felt… foreign to him; Wataru Hibiki. It was like he was speaking another language from a different planet whenever the name rolled off his tongue. A puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit, no matter where you placed it. Though, this wasn’t the first time the magician experienced this feeling. It was a common occurrence for him, in fact. Every day, he would gather puzzle pieces that didn’t exactly belong to him, but they were good enough. That is, until they no longer fit the makeshift puzzle the magician made for himself and he had to look for new ones. It was a tedious task, yes, but he’s been doing it for nineteen years already so it wasn’t like he was some amateur when it came to picking up shiny, new pieces.

He can’t remember exactly when he first started collecting these differing pieces, but he does know it started when he was child, probably no older than four. It was when he was finally introduced to a family that loved him, a family that showed him affection and practically drowned him in it. Something the young magician didn’t experience before. Something he couldn’t get enough of. Maybe that was the start of his collection, because everyday he would go up to his parents and show off the newest piece to his puzzle and his parents would laugh and show him the attention he desperately needed. Maybe that was when. 

And, it wasn’t like Wataru planned to continue with collecting the missing pieces of his puzzle his entire life2. It was harmless in the beginning, a mere hobby to show off. All the magician wanted was to impress the people around him, and more importantly, repay his beloved parents for giving him something his old home couldn’t. They were too kind, too giving, too nice for a bastard child like him; he couldn’t just let them give him everything without asking for anything in return. It felt dirty and wrong, as if he was a parasite sucking everything he could out of them. 

The puzzle pieces were the only thing he could offer them, and everyone around him graciously accepted them. Once they were accepted, played with, toyed with, ingrained into their brain, they would greedily ask for more. For humans are greedy in nature and never completely satisfied unless they get more and more. 

Which was exactly what Wataru Hibiki did. 

There wasn’t a day where he didn’t look for the newest piece to his blended puzzle. He searched high and low for the next one, not resting until he found one he was sure that was going to keep the others entertained. One that would give him just enough time to start his next search without them getting bored with a blink of an eye. The magician couldn’t remember the last time he had a day to relax and not be plagued with thoughts of their disappointment and boredom. He needed to keep them entertained, so that they could stay in his life and he wouldn’t have to be lonely anymore. Was it selfish? Most likely, but silence could be deafening when you’re alone. 

The teen stared at himself in the mirror, leaning in so close that his reflection’s nose was touching his own. Just who was he looking at? Certainly not Wataru Hibiki! Wataru Hibiki was energetic and out there, always equipped with an arsenal of laughter, hidden doves, and analogies he forced himself to understand. No, this wasn’t the Wataru Hibiki the world loved, or the Wataru Hibiki the world hated. It was but a person who looked like that infamous performer, a person who shared the same voice as that infamous performer, a person who the world didn’t love or hate because this person was shielded away from the cruel world he was subjected to live in. 

While Wataru Hibiki was out and about, this person was who did most of the collecting. It would be a mistake on both their ends should they ever decide to let this person show his face outside, for there’s no way he could survive this ruthless world. Not when everyone had high expectations for him. He’d rather die than watch their expectations sink deep down into the ground once they realized he couldn’t provide them with what they wanted. As a result, he only shows his face whenever the eccentric performer is alone in his own humble abode. It was… safer that way. For him and the world.

He leaned away from the mirror, this time opting to stretch his face out to prove to himself he was who the world wanted him to be; a performer who excelled in everything thrown at him, and while he had the same physical appearance as that performer, it was the smaller things only he noticed. He didn’t share the same glimmer in his eye whenever he forced on a smile, nor was there the same bounce in his step. His voice didn’t have the same inflections, he didn’t carry himself the same way, there was no way he could be the Wataru Hibiki that society either adored or detested. 

All he was good for was helping Wataru Hibiki become the idol he wanted to be. Play the role he wanted to play. Be what his friends and family deserved, someone they could rely on whenever they were feeling down. He wasn’t what they deserved because he could never be that person. He was never that person to anyone, not even to himself. They deserved someone better, someone more than a lifeless jester who was forced to play the role of the fool. It was already too late for him to turn his back on them, just the thought was able to bring him into a state of anxious dread that was accompanied with the need to continue playing this role for them. Everything was for them, their happiness and enjoyment was more important than anything he could feel. 

After all, Wataru Hibiki was only an assorted array of puzzle pieces.


End file.
